If you feel like your relationship is great EXCEPT that your man isn't asking you to COMMIT 100% and take it "to the next level"...And you don't know the best way to approach the subject with him, or get things back on track towards an amazing and lasting relationship...Then there's something you need to know about men...A man is NOT going to commit because YOU think it's the right move, or because you think it's time.A man will only lead your relationship towards growth and progress when HE FEELS two things:
1) When he feels that you and your relationship makes his life better, instead of more difficult
2) When he feels that intense level of attraction and interest in you to where once he gets to know you, he can't stand the idea of NOT BEING WITH YOU
If you have a man in your life right now, let me ask you an honest question...
Are you happy with the current state of your relationship?
Have you been experiencing the kind of love and passion in your relationship that makes you feel more confident and emotionally fulfilled? Or...
Have the interactions with the man in your life somehow turned "sour" to where even the slightest look or misspoken word can drive a wedge between you and lead to conflict?
If things are starting to "sour" in your relationship, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you read this entire email.And if you've become aware that it's not just
you who sees that the passion is missing, but your man does too... then I'm going to have to INSIST that you read this email and follow what's in it. For your own good.
Now that we're clear on all that, let's get down to it.
If your relationship is wearing you down and making you feel weaker and less secure...
Instead of stronger and more beautiful, sexy and confident...
Then I'd like to talk to you about what you can do about it to quickly turn things around for the better- for both you and for the man you're with.
Let me start by asking you a direct question.
Take a minute, think about this question to yourself and try to answer as honestly as you can.
Here goes...
What is it that takes a relationship with all it's patterns and habits... and makes it suddenly change for the better?
I'll give you a second to take the question in and consider what it is that has the power to change a relationship between two people.
Okay,you probably came up with an idea or two about how relationships can change.
But I'm willing to bet that nothing came to mind that you know for sure is a quick and easy way to change the things that are creating distance and
problems in your relationship.
Don't worry. That's where I'm going to help you.
SYMPTOMS OF THE "PASSIONLESS RELATIONSHIP"
As a woman, there must be nothing worse than doing everything you can think of to make things work in your relationship...
Meanwhile all you're feeling inside is worn down, unappreciated, and over-extended.
For lots of women who have men they live with or are married to, the fact that you not only try and carry your relationship isn't where it ends.
You're also doing everything to keep your life, home, family,etc.together...while he doesn't seem to be doing his part.It's enough to drive you crazy.
The very last thing you can feel like doing after a full day is giving MORE to your man to help you reconnect.
How could it be that even though you're trying harder to make for a great relationship with the man in your life... that fun, free, easy
feeling of love and passion and connection seems to drift farther and farther away from you.
For lots of women, what once started out as an "easy" relationship where you and a man simply connected and enjoyed being together no matter what can unexpectedly turn into something a whole lot more difficult and frustrating.
Tell me something...Have you noticed that things with your man
fit with any of the following?
-He doesn't share the same kind of excitement about being with you and spending quality time together the way he used to
-He listens and responds to you less as time goes on
-He has stopped touching you, acting sweet and affectionate, and initiating sex
-He wants to spend more and more time "on his own"
Do any of these seem to be going on for you with the man in your life?
If so, then I want you to stop fooling yourself and get CLEAR about what's going on.
I hope you don't get mad at me for being the one to tell you... but I'm going to for your own good-
Your relationship is losing the PASSION that brought it together in the first place.And unless things change, it's likely that:
A) The ATTRACTION you share will DIE
The man you're with will likely STOP FEELING those "special feelings" that brought you together in the first place And...
B) The Cycle of less connection and less intimacy leading to... more frustration... leading to less connection and intimacy again... will continue to
spiral you and your relationship DOWNWARDS
And here YOU will keep falling deeper and deeper into that frustrated and unhappy place inside yourself that you know isn't good for you or your relationship because you don't feel beautiful, loved, or sexy. And the more you feel this way,
the worse things are going to continue to get.
If you can relate to what I'm talking about here, then there's something you need to recognize right now-
If you're spending a lot of time and energy on keeping together or trying to improve the relationship you're in right now, but it's ultimately
only digging you deeper into the frustrating situation you're already in...
Then you first need to STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING
RIGHT NOW.
Then the answer is NOT for you to do more of the same.
Reason being, you're almost guaranteed to end up with the exact same RESULTS or OUTCOME.
I'm going to be unusually direct and honest here-
Without the essential elements in place of that free-flowing PASSION you both don't have to work to feel, your relationship is in a lot more danger of ENDING than you might realize.
Tell me...
How many times have you heard from a friend that the man in her life suddenly told her that he wanted to break up, and his only real reason or excuse was that he "just didn't feel it anymore."
Or that he "loved her, but he wasn't IN LOVE with her."
Meanwhile, your friend felt like the relationship was going strong, even though there were those little bumps in the road that every relationship has.
Sound familiar,this kind of thing might have even happened to you in the past.
The point here is that too many women end up in relationships where the man they're with is acting disconnected and withdrawn, and there's little PASSION being shared anymore.
And everything the woman tries in an effort to make a change for the better only ends up making them feel more frustrated and disappointed because the man doesn't seem to notice or care.
Or worse, the man actually becomes ANGRY or IRRITATED every time you try and bring up the subject of your relationship and the reality of what's not working, and how it's making you feel.
If you've ever been in this kind of situation with a man, or you're in one right now... then the reality is that you have A CHOICE TO MAKE -
The point here is that too many women end up in relationships where the man they're with is acting disconnected and withdrawn, and there's little PASSION being shared anymore.
And everything the woman tries in an effort to make a change for the better only ends up making them feel more frustrated and disappointed because the man doesn't seem to notice or care.
Or worse, the man actually becomes ANGRY or IRRITATED every time you try and bring up the subject of your relationship and the reality of what's not working, and how it's making you feel.
If you've ever been in this kind of situation with a man, or you're in one right now... then the reality is that you have A CHOICE TO MAKE -
You can either:
A) FREAK OUT as you see all the signs that your man isn't "feeling it" for you the way he used to, and as the passion keeps fading from your relationship (and push things further down the negative spiral
A) FREAK OUT as you see all the signs that your man isn't "feeling it" for you the way he used to, and as the passion keeps fading from your relationship (and push things further down the negative spiral
B) Not really make a choice to do anything but stay "quiet" and hope things change for the better, as you go down the road of uncertainty and your man keeps drifting farther and farther from you
C) Take a step back from your knee jerk reaction of fear, and do something to quickly turn things around right now
Most women don't know what it is that can take this unfortunately common situation and turn it around.
There are 2 immediate options you have, both of which I've seen work for women and allowed them to quickly turn their relationships around in no time flat.
Even with the most withdrawn or disengaged men.(I'm talking healthy men here who have fallen into these negative relationship patterns with you. Not unhealthy and damaged men - that's a longer story.)
I've seen women turn their relationships around with either of these things WITHOUT having to "do more work" in their relationship and take on more of the burden of carrying the relationship.
Even with the most withdrawn or disengaged men.(I'm talking healthy men here who have fallen into these negative relationship patterns with you. Not unhealthy and damaged men - that's a longer story.)
I've seen women turn their relationships around with either of these things WITHOUT having to "do more work" in their relationship and take on more of the burden of carrying the relationship.
Doing MORE is not the answer when you're already doing all you can and it's not working.
The answer is doing just a few simple things
the right way.
The best part is, once you finally know what the right thing to do is, all it takes is a tiny bit of effort and the results are many many more times what you could get struggling with all your force.
It's like lifting a giant piece of furniture. Try it by hand and it won't budge.But when you have the right pulleys and levers
it goes 'like butter'.
the right way.
The best part is, once you finally know what the right thing to do is, all it takes is a tiny bit of effort and the results are many many more times what you could get struggling with all your force.
It's like lifting a giant piece of furniture. Try it by hand and it won't budge.But when you have the right pulleys and levers
it goes 'like butter'.
YOUR TWO OPTIONS TO QUICKLY CREATE A POSITIVE "SHIFT" IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
I'm going to give you 2 options that I know from experience helping women can quickly allow you to do a kind of "reset" on your relationship and shift out of some of the negative dynamics that have been going on.
I'm going to give you 2 options that I know from experience helping women can quickly allow you to do a kind of "reset" on your relationship and shift out of some of the negative dynamics that have been going on.
Using either of these options, I've literally
seen women:
-Go from feeling like they had to "nag" their boyfriends at every turn just so he'd be a part of their life and relationship... to suddenly having him excited to give, share and open up.
seen women:
-Go from feeling like they had to "nag" their boyfriends at every turn just so he'd be a part of their life and relationship... to suddenly having him excited to give, share and open up.
-Stop feeling like they were the only one GIVING and start RECEIVING tons more love and affection from their man.
-Shift from having to ask 5 times before the trash finally got taken out, to having their man asking them what more he could do to help out and make their lives great together
-Go from never hearing a kind word or unexpected compliment, to receiving constant and continual praise and appreciation for who they were
-Become consistently presented and surprised by romantic gestures such as flowers, gifts, and dates... all because their man was simply thinking
about them
Do any of these sound like something you'd like to enjoy more of in your relationship? And how would it be to have any or all of these
happen for you WITHOUT having to ASK FOR IT?
about them
Do any of these sound like something you'd like to enjoy more of in your relationship? And how would it be to have any or all of these
happen for you WITHOUT having to ASK FOR IT?
Then here are your 2 options:
Option #1) Reconnect The "Essential Element" That Leads A Man To Feel & Act Passionately With You
Option #1) Reconnect The "Essential Element" That Leads A Man To Feel & Act Passionately With You
For a fast shortcut to what I'm talking about in this section, read this:
There's one basic element all relationships have to have, or else they are just what you might call "friendships".
Do you know what this one element is, and how it works for a man?
If you don't, it's likely that a man will start to feel like you and he are more like friends than lifelong lovers. I'm going to share this with you right now.
What I'm talking about is 100% guaranteed to have your man wanting to spend more quality time alone with you... and to make him think more and more about your future together.
Do you know what this one element is, and how it works for a man?
If you don't, it's likely that a man will start to feel like you and he are more like friends than lifelong lovers. I'm going to share this with you right now.
What I'm talking about is 100% guaranteed to have your man wanting to spend more quality time alone with you... and to make him think more and more about your future together.
This one essential element has the power to instantly change everything about how a man is thinks, acts, and FEELS with you.
And strangely enough it's something I'm sure you already know about... but something you've likely forgotten about in the routine of your relationship and the confusion and frustrating situations that can come up with men.
I'm talking about the magic feelings and emotions called ATTRACTION.
And I'm not just talking about the everyday Physical Attraction that makes a man interested in sex just as a physical thing.
I'm talking about the kind of INTENSE ATTRACTION that reaches inside a man's heart and mind on a deeper level to where he can't help but be swept away by the FEELINGS he has for you... and he has to act on them or else he'll know he's doing the wrong thing.
I'm talking about the magic feelings and emotions called ATTRACTION.
And I'm not just talking about the everyday Physical Attraction that makes a man interested in sex just as a physical thing.
I'm talking about the kind of INTENSE ATTRACTION that reaches inside a man's heart and mind on a deeper level to where he can't help but be swept away by the FEELINGS he has for you... and he has to act on them or else he'll know he's doing the wrong thing.
There are 2 HUGE misunderstandings women have when it comes to men, love and ATTRACTION.
The first, and biggest misunderstanding, is thinking that attraction works the same way for MEN as it does for you.
Lots of women mistakenly believe that if they simply do more of the things they know they want,or that THEY THINK makes for a great and loving relationship... that the man is sure to respond.WRONG!
This is plain and simple a false belief.Attraction works differently for men than it does for women. And if you keep trying to give a man what I call "Selfish Love" (giving to others only in the way you know YOU like to RECEIVE)then a man simply isn't going to respond to you and "feel it" for you.
Don't make this huge mistake that women and men both make with each other.
You wouldn't want your man pretending that for you, a great night together at home consists of beer, chips, and the football game.
The other giant misunderstanding about how attraction works is thinking that men will feel attraction the "nicer" you are, or the harder you try and please them or make them happy.
Lots of women do this unconsciously as they try to gain a man's interest or attention by taking on what I call the "Super Friend" approach.
They do favors for the man, compliment him all the time, try and stroke his ego... or even trade their affection for his time and attention.
Lots of women do this unconsciously as they try to gain a man's interest or attention by taking on what I call the "Super Friend" approach.
They do favors for the man, compliment him all the time, try and stroke his ego... or even trade their affection for his time and attention.
If you're dating a man and you want to take the level of attraction to the next level to where the EMOTIONAL CONNECTION you have will quickly be reconnected and intensify... here's where to
start-
STOP doing all the "best friend" approach stuff of trying to make him like you, of winning his approval, of trying to carry the weight for you both, and of trying to make him happy and comfortable.
This is making you miserable. And he can sense it. It's only making things worse.It's time you start doing the things that will have him literally stand up and take notice of the fun, playful and unique woman that you are.
Trying to re-engage a partner in a relationship by talking to them about how much more "work" they need to do isn't a great approach or place to start.
start-
STOP doing all the "best friend" approach stuff of trying to make him like you, of winning his approval, of trying to carry the weight for you both, and of trying to make him happy and comfortable.
This is making you miserable. And he can sense it. It's only making things worse.It's time you start doing the things that will have him literally stand up and take notice of the fun, playful and unique woman that you are.
Trying to re-engage a partner in a relationship by talking to them about how much more "work" they need to do isn't a great approach or place to start.
You can bypass all the "what's wrong now" stuff and go straight to reconnecting by dealing with things on an EMOTIONAL LEVEL with a man.
A great way to do this is to stop doing all the PREDICTABLE things that other women are doing as they're trying to "catch & keep" a man that
are ironically turning men off.
Instead, try doing things that are UNPREDICTABLE that will grab a man's attention in a positive way and have him seeing you as wonderfully different from
other women - or from the frustrated and worn-down woman that he's seen feeling dissatisfied with him.
A great way to do this is to stop doing all the PREDICTABLE things that other women are doing as they're trying to "catch & keep" a man that
are ironically turning men off.
Instead, try doing things that are UNPREDICTABLE that will grab a man's attention in a positive way and have him seeing you as wonderfully different from
other women - or from the frustrated and worn-down woman that he's seen feeling dissatisfied with him.
Turn the man you thought was a "lazy" partner into a man who's enthusiastic and excited about your life together, and all that's in it that you
can share.
Of course, I told you I'd also share with you the second option if you're looking for the right way to quickly get things on track with a man and draw him close to you for a great relationship.
Option #2) Break Through Your "Stalled" Relationship And Discover How Commitment And Growth Works FOR HIM
can share.
Of course, I told you I'd also share with you the second option if you're looking for the right way to quickly get things on track with a man and draw him close to you for a great relationship.
Option #2) Break Through Your "Stalled" Relationship And Discover How Commitment And Growth Works FOR HIM
Lots of women have an easy time meeting a man and starting off a new relationship.
But then things always seem to fizzle after that early phase of lust and passion is over. One of the scariest truths that too many women
shy away from out of fear is that for most men, especially successful and attractive men with lots of options... they don't want to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one.
In other words, lots of men who are "catches" won't just want a loving, lasting and COMMITTED relationship just because it could make their life better.
But then things always seem to fizzle after that early phase of lust and passion is over. One of the scariest truths that too many women
shy away from out of fear is that for most men, especially successful and attractive men with lots of options... they don't want to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one.
In other words, lots of men who are "catches" won't just want a loving, lasting and COMMITTED relationship just because it could make their life better.
In fact, lots of these men have never met a woman who has showed them that a relationship truly does make life richer and more worth living.
Lots of good men still haven't been able to recognize in a woman the qualities that show them
that their life could actually be BETTER as a result of being deeply in love and COMMITTED for the LONG RUN.
Don't let what men either haven't found or seen in other women deter you from having the great relationship you know is possible when you meet a man.
Discovering how men think about lasting and long-term relationships is half the secret.
If you don't know what it is that makes a man see a woman as someone who he could see himself being with and staying with not just FOR NOW, but far into the future... then odds are you'll make the same mistake tons of other women make that only make the man in their life MORE RESISTANT to committing to lasting love.
that their life could actually be BETTER as a result of being deeply in love and COMMITTED for the LONG RUN.
Don't let what men either haven't found or seen in other women deter you from having the great relationship you know is possible when you meet a man.
Discovering how men think about lasting and long-term relationships is half the secret.
If you don't know what it is that makes a man see a woman as someone who he could see himself being with and staying with not just FOR NOW, but far into the future... then odds are you'll make the same mistake tons of other women make that only make the man in their life MORE RESISTANT to committing to lasting love.
One of the most common mistakes is talking to a man about becoming more involved and committed in your relationship as though it's the "right" or "logical" thing to do.
Some women, when they sense that their relationship isn't growing... will try and jump-start things by DEMANDING that the man "get with the program" and make a bigger commitment. I can see the man WITHDRAWING right now.
Some women, when they sense that their relationship isn't growing... will try and jump-start things by DEMANDING that the man "get with the program" and make a bigger commitment. I can see the man WITHDRAWING right now.
The false belief women hold about why men withdraw when this happens is that men are AFRAID of COMMITMENT.
Nothing could be farther from the truth.
The truth is, men aren't afraid of commitment when they feel like a woman UNDERSTANDS THEM and knows how to be the kind of partner who makes their life BETTER, not more confusing and complex.
In other words, men are only afraid of commitment when they don't already sense that the woman is right for them.
So when a woman can come into a man's life and show him the signs of a great woman that all men know and universally respond to... that supposed fear of commitment and the future simply disappears.
The truth is, men aren't afraid of commitment when they feel like a woman UNDERSTANDS THEM and knows how to be the kind of partner who makes their life BETTER, not more confusing and complex.
In other words, men are only afraid of commitment when they don't already sense that the woman is right for them.
So when a woman can come into a man's life and show him the signs of a great woman that all men know and universally respond to... that supposed fear of commitment and the future simply disappears.
I'm sure you've known at least one man in your life who was a sworn bachelor.
He'd talk about how he loved being single, and about how relationships were nothing but trouble.
But then it happened..He met this one woman and suddenly EVERYTHING
CHANGED.Suddenly love was real and important.Suddenly he had a woman he truly cared about, and who he didn't want to lose or let go.Suddenly he was "hooked", and it was him who was driving the relationship forward and wanting
more.
It is possible. Men can and do grow deeply connected and committed in relationships.But it takes them recognizing that you're the
right woman.
CHANGED.Suddenly love was real and important.Suddenly he had a woman he truly cared about, and who he didn't want to lose or let go.Suddenly he was "hooked", and it was him who was driving the relationship forward and wanting
more.
It is possible. Men can and do grow deeply connected and committed in relationships.But it takes them recognizing that you're the
right woman.
And best of luck in life and love.
Christian Carter
Christian Carter
No comments:
Post a Comment